Lost the meaning of silence

On her birthday I didnt call her.. I messaged her instead..
I don't know why I was so scared to talk to her..
I don't know why the voice that could made my day once became so fearful to me..
I couldn't gather guts to talk to her.. I thought what would I talk about?
I was not scared of talks I was scared of the silence that would follow after few initial question answers..
"Hi how are you?"
"I am fine. you tell??"
"Me good too.."
"And so.."
"So nothing.."
"Whats plan on birthday..?"
"Party with friends and all.."

And silence after that..
The silence.. that I thought was signature of our closeness for only close people can stay silent without feeling awkward..
Now that silence scared me..
Was that the first sign that we are not close anymore??
What could I do to fix that?
I kept thinking whole night...
But couldn't find any answer..

Is that what I called love?
If that is love.. why does that hurt so much?
Why it keeps me from talking to her..?
Perhaps thats what happens when love penetrate your soul..
Your mind and soul start that conflict and between that only the body perish..


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